By Melanie Rodriguez

Many people have heard stories about arranged marriages in most parts of India where parents believe it is their responsibility to decide the fate of their child. The parents take care of their children from birth and the children obey their parents. Since marriage is one of the most important decisions an individual will ever make, it is crucial that the marriage decision is carefully thought out. Parents deem it as their duty to find a bride/groom acceptable enough for their child. If you reckon this to be totally objectionable, boy oh boy, you are in for a rude awakening.

The Kyrgyz Republic, commonly referred to as Kyrgyzstan, is located in Central Asia. It is one of the former Soviet states in the region that gained independence in 1991. Bride kidnapping (”ala kachuu” in Kyrgyz), is the tradition of kidnapping women for the purpose of coercing them to marry, is a practice that is increasingly prevalent in Kyrgyzstan. Some of these kidnappings are merely playful rituals, where the bride is engaged to the groom and consents to the kidnapping, but many are not.
In most cases, the kidnapping takes place without the consent of the bride-to-be. The groom sets out the day of his wedding to ‘pick’ a bride (sometimes the groom decides on the bride a few days in advance). Once the groom finds someone suitable or ‘likes what he sees’, he sets out with a few of his friends to ‘kidnap’ the unsuspecting girl. The girl is then taken to the groom’s house where a crowd awaits her arrival. The women of the groom’s family then tries to convince the girl that this is in light of her future and sometimes the consent of the girl’s parents is sought.

Initially, the girls struggle and wail but eventually most of them give up and accept the marriage scarf which is placed on their head. Tradition states that once the bride accepts the ceremonial scarf, the matter is settled and the wedding can begin. In some cases if the girl is not willing to get married she is set free, unfortunately this occurrence is rare. Petr Lom, a professor at Central European University in Budapest decided to explore this strange local custom. He encountered first hand incidents of this practice. In a documentary with PBS Frontline, he shares two startling incidents. In the first incident a girl is picked and dragged to the groom’s house where she is eventually persuaded into marriage. Lom finds that after a few days the girl is happily living with her husband and does not regret being kidnapped. The second incident however paints a different picture. The groom sets out to kidnap a girl he was keen on marrying, but in lieu of not finding her, he decided to kidnap another girl. In this situation the girl is reluctant to get married and is set free in spite of countless hours of persuasion by women of the village.

Bride kidnapping is one of the most important human rights issues in present-day Kyrgyzstan. The tradition of bride kidnapping was made illegal while Kyrgyzstan was part of the Soviet Union. Though it remains illegal in the Kyrgyz Republic, bride kidnappings appear to have risen after independence and continue to stay on the human rights agenda.

References:
Human Rights Internet, Canada,
PBS Frontline,
The Straits Times